JumbledThingsInMyHead
travel through mind and heart
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wolipop.com - 10 Gaun Elegan Sebastian Gunawan di Jakarta Fashion Week 2012
always LOVE seba’s artwork!!!
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love you so much it hurts
I just realize that it’s been 4 years now dealing with up and downs. Being closer and further, mingling my heart with love-or-not and denial that he’s not the one. Begging God to draw us closer if he is the love of my life and further if he isn’t. Dwelling with that kind of feelings make my emotion shaking and definitely tired but nothing i can do to solve it and fixing the unbroken. Have been tried to feel don’t care about it but just simply can’t as if there are strings between us that always keeping us in a circle.
I remember when we were closer than ever. He wanted to come to help me from a far place when I was in trouble but I said no. I don’t want to be a bother since he was busy either but deeply inside I was so happy that he would try risking all his job for me. My heart was pounding crazily, maybe that was the first time I realize that I already fall for him. In some other time after that, when I was in unfair situation he stood by me listened to all my complaints and that really helped my to hold back my tears.
Time passes by, and our friendship circle was changed. We were still mingle together but he was getting closer to one of my friend. It made me hurt lots of time. But what can I do? I can only act that I’m okay and there was nothing between us. I couldn’t confess my feelings yet it would ruin our state of relationship.
Knowing his personality, attitude, and habit, I notice his good and bad, strength and weakness. I usually back-off when I know the negative things that I couldn’t tolerate from the man I like but this is different. I realize that he has a lot of weaknesses that I couldn’t stand but I can see his goodness clearly and I think I could handle it. Is it love?Maybe. I’m sucks at relationship and I couldn’t even differentiate it. He is different when we are together but I don’t even understand is it real or my mind just playing tricks on me. His touch, oh dammit! Please don’t because you are making me hope for your feeling.
Now we were apart, busy of each other lives and dealing with a lot of stuffs. It makes me realize that I really miss you but I still need a start, closure, or whatever it is. I need to move on because it’s been consuming my mind, my heart, and my sanity. I could handle it no more. I need clarity to continue with my life, with or without you.
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jiuzhaigou (10-12.09.10)
Jiuzhaigou means 9 tibetan village and located in the mountain. After taking a flight from Chengdu and through snaky road finally I could reach there and lacked of oxygen. Really. It is more than 4000 meters from sea level so the oxygen layer is kinda thin and we need additional from oxygen can.
The first place we visited is Huang Long. Located in the mountain (still), it is some kind of waterfall or lake made by accumulation of minerals. In fall, they said that the water is colorful, especially enhanced by colorful falling leaves.
2 nights were spent at Jiuzhai Paradise Hotel. A 5-star hotel known for its luxurious thematic building.
Interior/Architecture of the Hotel
Hallway to the Room Building
Waterfall Inside the Hotel
Thematic Interior Design
View From Balcony
Not far away from the hotel, there is a theatre showing tibetan dance show about the story of jiuzhaigou at night. The theatre itself supported by high tech stage and also outstanding lighting arrangement.
The Whole Stage
The Performance is also like a fashion show.
Lighting Arrangement at the Back Stage.
There is an acrobatic show too.
And now, the Tibetan Scenic Area or the real 9 tibetan village. A few hours travel by bus from the hotel, but it’s kinda worth it even though lots of energy still needed for climbing up and down the hills. The water contains a lot of minerals so the surroundings would be reflected beautifully. The area is kept in its natural habitat, falling leaves or branches on the water is abandoned so the minerals are produced.
